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Existential Crisis Du JourĀ 

This is going to be fun.

Wikipedia defines an existential crisis as a moment in which an individual questions the very foundation of their life: whether this life has any meaning, purpose, or value. 

Personally, think this is just what they call being alive and breathing oxygen. 

I first learned about existentialism in my freshman year college, and it’s taken, oh, a good 14 years to fully understand it on a dizzying, punch-in-the-gut level. And yet, there’s something comforting in knowing that we’re all in this together. 

My current ongoing crisis involves upset towards loved ones, and then realizing that the more time spent divided is less time together. That there really is no good reason to be divided if one day, the heavy hammer of time will make that decision for us at some point.

And yet, sometimes there is a good reason to experience divide. Some people act like assholes, without apology. Sometimes, you’re the asshole. Everyone has the ability to take advantage, to not communicate, to be mean-spirited and hurtful. Sometimes there is absolutely a very good reason to be upset.

But at what point do we cut out the festering part of the wound and try to heal, at the risk of death by sepsis? At what point do we say, “hey, I need help”?

At what point do we communicate what’s happening at the risk of it being too late, forever?

I told you this would be fun. Trust me, there will be more.

Feel free to @ me on Twitter if you want to let me know what’s up — like I said, we’re all in this together.


Happy Father’s Day to My Pop

My dad’s awesome.

I think I feel that way because I’ve become him — and by that, I mean I’m an adult, by his example.

Pop is funny, and has a good heart. He’s also a little discombobulated, but that doesn’t stop him from being able to laugh at himself. He has a great smile, perfect teeth, curly hair, golden skin. And he loves my mom as much as he did when they got married 39 years ago.

But he also doesn’t take anyone’s crap, either. He gives everyone leeway for the most part, but he questions most everything, intelligently. He knows the importance of thinking and re-thinking your position so as to not be stagnant at a call to action.

Pop is so smart and full of life, but he gets tired sometimes. I never realized the level of exhaustion that comes merely from living, and he worked through it while raising five kids. Also, I think he doesn’t want to let anyone down, at the expense of his comfort.

He is also an individual, and more than my dad. He loves jazz, beer, talk radio, baby back ribs. He converses with light in his eyes and joy in his voice. He gets frustrated, and angry. Sometimes he doesn’t want to be bothered. But he’s always there.

I don’t have children, but at 32, I’m the age that Mom and Pop had three children and me on the way… I just can’t wrap my head around it. Mom worked days, and Pop worked nights, so more often than not it was just me and him, joined at the hip while my siblings were at school. We’d run errands together, have picnics in our backyard, ham and cheese sandwiches with yellow mustard on bread rolls. It was fun, for me. I think he had fun, too, even though being an adult can be far from it.

I distinctly remember going to classes with him at Cal State Northridge, where he was studying be a teacher. Sometimes we’d stop by the vending machine beforehand — Fig Newtons for him, a Snickers bar for me. I didn’t like fig, and remember him once getting strawberry to see if I’d eat that instead. I applaud him for trying, though, because Snickers always won.

Even while writing this, I didn’t really think about what it takes, not only to go back to school as an adult, but to bring your child with you. And I’ve seen it, as a graduate myself — fellow students bringing their children to class at all hours of the day (or night). Pop did that all the time. I even remember his graduation day, which at the time didn’t seem extraordinary because — well, that’s what he was supposed to do, right?

Little did I know then that not everyone’s father does that. Not everyone’s father is around, by choice or otherwise.

Over the years I’ve found that there seems to be an unspoken bond that keeps things together — the universe, our bodies, our sanity, family, whatever. The relative understanding of that — what it takes, what you’ll do — just clicked somehow. And it’s because of that, that it’s home, every single time. That’s my Pop.

It’s pretty awesome.


Strength Training for the Zombie Apocalypse Ep. 1

Hi — my name is Lindsey, but you can call me Linds.

Despite living in Los Angeles, a model body is not high on my list of priorities. I eat well, work out, and take general good care of myself, but wouldn’t refer to myself as model thin. Just a normal, slender-ish individual.

More importantly, I’ve come to the realization that (like everyone on this planet) my body naturally fluctuates in response to stress or hormonal influence, and that this is actually (1) okay and (2) normal. Besides, aesthetic isn’t really going to matter at all during the zombie apocalypse. 

Hear me out:

  1. When the zombies come, you’ll need to be able to run away, and quickly.
  2. You’ll also need to pull your body up and over things, carry items and maybe comrades, and lug foodstuffs, gas canisters, etc., wherever possible.
  3. You’ll also need to have the endurance to be on the move so as to not be a sitting target.

If you haven’t guessed it yet, these points cover sprints, strength, and endurance. After years of trying to figure things out, breaking it down like this has helped me take a more practical approach to fitness.

Here’s an sample workout (and my actual workout today) — first, strength — 3 sets of the following circuit (with a weight that makes the last rep difficult):

12 tricep pushups on toes
12 bicep curl to press
12 upright rows
12 bent over row to tricep kickback

I followed this with 30 minutes of high intensity interval cardio. After showering, I walked to the grocery store for some items I’d forgotten to pick up earlier in the week.

Strength, sprints, and endurance — it’s not that it’s any easier, but it’s what’s necessary for survival. 

If you happen to find yourself overwhelmed like I have, why not try the zombie apocalypse approach and see what it does for you?