Category Archives: funny

Coconut-Scented Everything: White Rain Bar Soap (Product Review)

Hear me out.

Coconut is an uber-fad that arrived atop the roof of the wellness train about five years ago and has been milked, oil pulled, punctured and drained for all its worth. The sad thing is that, unless from the actual fruit, most artificial coconut scents smell too chemical-y for this world. It’s true: most beauty products at a consumer-friendly price point smell like headache in a bottle.

As a writer, most ideas come to me in the shower. As such, I take some effort in making sure that my shower experience is both functional and relaxing. From bath bombs to aromatherapy gels, sugar scrubs and oil-infusions, I have tried an array of products with respect to budget and interest, and have still managed to come up short in the zen department. 

That is, until I came across White Rain body soap.

About a month ago, my boyfriend and I were at the grocery store stocking up for the week as per usual. I’d capped off a long lavender streak after having run out of my favorite Dr. Bronner’s liquid hemp soap, and decided to try something different. Making our way down the personal care aisle, I went through the prerequisite rigamarole before landing on a product that I was sure I’d regret buying. “White Rain, huh?” I thought to myself. “In Lavender Shea.” Sitting in between safe Ivory and inflated Tom’s, I thought, “meh, why not?”, a decision made infinitely easier with a two-pack of bars having been marked down to the very friendly price of $1.49.

Little did I know what a beautiful relationship was to bud from there on. Again, with tax, you get two quality bar soaps for around $0.80 each. In addition, the formula is smooth and doesn’t melt away easily (unlike the aforementioned Ivory) — each bar has lasted me nearly two weeks, even with vigorous use. Also, the scents are not overpowering, nor do they smell like chemicals. I have previously stuck to the Lavender Shea scented bars, but recently tried out the Coconut Creme scent (during a 4 two-packs for $5 sale) and well…. let’s just say that I am thisclose to crowning a new favorite in my besprinkled shower kingdom in which I am both subject and ruler.

It’s not that I won’t splurge on something more seemingly decadent, like an oil infusion, serum, or otherwise. But again, as a writer, the shower is one of the few places where one can let the mind fully wander and process for a guaranteed two to five minutes before the day really gets started. And because showering also involves cleanliness, White Rain has made both possible.

There you have it.

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3 Things I Learned from Interviewing Miley Cyrus 

I just woke up from a very realistic dream where I had the opportunity to interview Miley Cyrus in promotion of her latest single, “Younger Now”, and overall upcoming era of music.

We met in the early afternoon at a hybrid Four Seasons/school auditorium-meets-my-bedroom-floor type of setting (a meaning I couldn’t even begin to interpret so early in the morning). I wore a maroon, 90’s-era sweater dress, and had my trusty notepad and audio recorder in tow. Miley wore a tan fedora over blonde and honey-brown locks, a sky blue t-shirt, distressed jeans, and boho bangles. I didn’t notice her shoes.

Anyway, this is what I learned during our dream-interview:

1. If the answer can’t be found out via Google search, don’t ask the question. For some reason, the interview setting was semi-one-on-one versus roundtable, so I followed an interviewer who asked Miley some really good questions, which  meant that I was left with  asking some pretty obnoxious questions. “How did you know that you wanted to be a singer?” “What do you think of your career trajectory?” Embarrassment dripped from my corner my mouth, while Miley’s eyes bored into me in mildly repressed irritation. She, of course, left the room shortly thereafter. I don’t blame her.

I learned very quickly that if you ever get the chance to dream-interview an international celebrity, don’t be like me. When in doubt, it’s far better to ask someone how they’re doing or what they’ll be doing when they’re in town. The chance at segue is far more possible.

2. As much as you think you know someone, check yourself, because you don’t. Especially celebrity, as well as us anons. People change with time and experience. Or they don’t. You only know what they choose to show you. Take that as some version of the truth. Maya Angelou is quoted as saying — paraphrased — that when someone shows you who they are, believe them. And to that, I’ll add: be appreciative of the time while you have it. You may never get it back.

3. Be happy with your existence, at all stages. Ours was a painfully brief exchange, but I couldn’t help but notice that on the back of the lightly worn, sky blue shirt she was wearing was an image of Hannah Montana.

Every now and then you may hear someone say – with a hint of chagrin – that they were such a super fan during a  very glittery, countrified, hot pink time in life, having since grown up and out of it. But I’d bet money that if “See You Again” came on the radio, they’d be back in that mode like no time had passed. 

All of life’s stages are gone through for a reason and are worthy of acknowledgement, as they still exist with us. Dream-Miley’s recognition of herself — she used to be, who she is now, and who she will be — is to be admired.

If you haven’t yet seen the music video for “Younger Now”, check it out below as well as her performance at the 2017 MTV VMAs this past Sunday:

photo via wikimedia.org

20 Unconventional Blog Post Titles

Thought I’d have a little fun — stop me if you’ve heard these before:

1.  How to NOT Go Viral

2. Face It, We’re All Dying 

3. The Good Old Days Were Great for You, But Sucked For Your Parents

4. 20 Singers Who Do Not Use Autotune

5. How to Silent Fart Your Way Out of a Bad Date

6. 5 Exercises to Get a Flat Butt

7. 10 Reasons to Go Carnivorous

8. How to Stay Below the Poverty Line

9. Save on Dental Bills by Avoiding Responsibility Altogether

10. How to Side-Eye Your Way to the Top

11. Charming Incompetence = Basically a Princess 

12. How to Talk Yourself Down from a Double-Shot Espresso High

13. 8 Reasons to Marry Your Fiance and Not Run Off With the Horse

14. Chocolate is a Vegetable, Wine is a Fruit

15. 20 Ways to Emo Like It’s 1994

16. Celebs: Like Hell They’re Just Like Us

17. A Day in the Life of a Parched InstaThot 

18. You’re Not Special, Just Loud and Annoying 

19. How to Successfully Daydream Yourself Out of a Job 

20. Throat Punching: The New Pinky Swear 

Would you write about any of these? (I’m sure someone already has…)

Happy Friday!